Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Notes to myself....

So I find myself using facebook as a means to writing public "notes to myself" in regards to friendship, spirituality, humility, relationships, parenting, etc.   A little known fact about me is that I love to write, not stories, just thoughts.  Facebook kind of forces me to be concise because I hate long statuses, but on this avenue I can delve more into my thoughts.

Over the years friends and strangers have told me that they love my "notes to self" and even go as far as to write them down and apply them to their own lives.  lol I am always beaming on the inside when someone tells me that they can actually relate to what I am saying!

Which brings me to this...last week I attended the Next Generation Women of Color Summit (organized by the Young Black Women's Society) and had an amazing time. Alicia Adamson the founder spoke, she asked the attendees to close their eyes and think about when they are at their BEST...I envisioned myself helping myself and others....she then asked what is the point of having talents if you are going to hide those talents from the world? Don't hide your gifts...share them.

For more on YBWS you can go here

When I first started this blog I made it known that it wouldn't be just about the boutique, because I think an Intoxicating Vixen embodies growth, experience, womanhood, etc. Somehow life got in the way and for a while I have only been blogging about the boutique, but that will change.

Now to start off, I am by no means am an expert on anything, I'm an observer.  I observe my own life and other's lives and just....well...learn through experiences.

Note to self....

The more you try to control someone's perception of you, the further you drift away from your reality.  Never take ownership of someone's problem or praise of you, its not yours to own.  Opinions are not tangible, forever changing, and they are not here to define you.

A lot of times, I feel like we sacrifice our true selves in exchange for the way we want (or don't want) people to perceive us. Regardless of if you are playing a role or if you are truly being yourself, some people are going to like you and other people will not. If someone doesn't like you, is it your responsibility to make them like you? If someone does like you, is it your responsibility to make sure that they continue to like you?

I know for myself in the past, if someone didn't like me, my first thought would be "What am I doing wrong? why don't they like me?" ...feelings of inadequacy would flood me, even though I never publicly said so.

If someone did like me, a part of me would pat myself on the back and make an effort to KEEP doing whatever I was doing so that they would continue to like me....never mind the fact that if what I was doing was hindering my growth in life, ha...."praise" was more important than "right"

Basically, its your real responsibility is to be yourself, whoever that is.  The world is not your stage to act on, the world is your foundation to GROW on.

-Shimika IV


  1. Beautifully said and I know that any woman or man that reads this paused and did an internal reflection on themselves. Very strong food for thought

  2. Amen to that! I read somewhere that someone's opinion of you is none of your business! I used to be like you, trying to figure out where I went "wrong" if someone didn't like me. Over the years I've learned that no matter what you do or don't do, there are going to be people who just don't like you. Great post!